Health Care Reform

Health Care Reform so far as I have observed it

Mr. Obama: Our health care system as it currently exists will not provide adequate care to all Americans. Expenses are growing disproportionally, many currently insured Americans will lose their insurance and those who are uninsured are already not being provided for. Even for those who remain insured, the current rate of growth in cost will stagnate the economy and bankrupt many businesses.

We need to work together to find a plan that will work for all Americans.

I propose that your elected representatives of all parties in the Congress of these United States work together and come up with a plan to fix this problem.

Socialist in Congress: (Sen. Bernie Sanders - VT) OK.

Democrats in Congress: Why don't we keep busy and look like we're doing something but not do anything and maybe no one will notice and maybe this problem will go away so we don't get blamed for anything.

Republicans in Congress: Hey, this is a great opportunity! What we can do is completely bugger up this process, that is what we're so good at. We won't offer any useful suggestions, we'll obstruct everything we can, and we'll rabidly criticize everything that is or isn't done. That way when it fails we'll be able to blame Democrats for it failing!
(Backbencher voice: Hey, don't forget that damn socialist, he is a SOCIALIST, SOCIALIST, SOCIALIST, SOCIALIST, not only that, he's also LIBERAL, LIBERAL, LIBERAL, LIBERAL, LIBERAL! So anything he says is PURE EVIL and will KILL OLD PEOPLE! and MURDER SMALL CUTE ANIMALS AND BABIES!).

Insurance industry: If we don't continue to get our huge profits, any plan that you come up with will be LIBERAL EUROPEAN ATHEIST NAZI COMMUNIST SOCIALISM^[1]! If you change anything at all, any plan you come up with will:
KILL OLD PEOPLE^[2]!! and
MURDER SMALL CUTE ANIMALS AND BABIES^[3]!!! and
YOU'LL BE FORCED TO GO TO DOCTORS THEY TELL YOU TO GO TO^[4]!!!! and
YOU'LL BE DENIED PROCEDURES^[5]!!!!! and
YOU'LL DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH IN PAIN AND AGONY^[6]!!!!!!

Insurance industry fine print:
[1] as opposed to our current Mammon-worshiping fascist system
[2] as opposed to the old people we kill because we don't cover them and/or deny them coverage and/or drop their coverage as soon as they become ill
[3] as opposed to the children and babies we currently murder because we don't cover them and/or deny them coverage and/or drop their coverage as soon as they become ill
[4] as opposed to the doctors we force you to go to because we don't cover the one you want and/or deny you coverage and/or drop your coverage as soon as you become ill
[5] as opposed to the procedures we deny you
[6] as opposed to the bankruptcy, pain, agony, and death of our current system